Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

I love reading other people's blogs. I love to read about what other families are feeling (both good and bad), what they are thinking, seeing pictures; some with their Ethiopian babies and some with their biological babies. Lately, I keep reading of more and more families switching programs, adopting domestically, or even switching agencies. I know everyone is praying for God to lead the way. I know He is changing hearts and finding children good homes in the end. I think that is wonderful.  I think those that are taking different paths are really listening to their prayers being answered and letting Him lead them to their child. Basically, there is no right or wrong decision here, just good people that care for the orphans letting God take over.

It makes me wonder though, am I being stubborn? Am I being dumb for sticking with a program where clearly, the wait keeps increasing nonstop? I feel like we are willingly running into a storm while everyone else is taking cover. But, the minute I start to think of other programs/agencies, I feel stress and anxiety. We still feel at peace with Ethiopia. We agree and understand why the wait is so long. Most importantly, we still feel excitement. We wonder if 2013 will be OUR year and if not, 2014 is a pretty good number. We constantly ask ourselves why God is giving us so much more time to prepare. Well, for one, I need to finish my master's degree (which I will in August) so... boom! there goes our first year on the list. That means I have the second year to find a new job and possibly move to another city... boom! there goes another year on the list. And hello! we need to find a good school, pediatrician, a good park to play at, the whole nine yards in the new town so...boom! there goes another 6 months. Still with me? So for those wondering if switching programs is in our hearts right now, the answer is no. We keep falling more in love with Ethiopia as we learn more about it. We keep dreaming about visiting Ethiopia. Most importantly, we keep praying for an Ethiopian little boy.

On Monday night, we caught ourselves watching the Insanity infomercial as we were eating a piece of chocolate cake :(. Well, they sold it to us and we received the package today so...boom! there goes the next 60 days.

Seven Months

Months on the waitlist:

Current average wait time:

20

On our seventh month waiting anniversary, we visited a winery in Grapevine, TX. My sister and her husband were in town to get a little breather from their two boys. Ah the irony of life, here she was taking a little vacation and here we were celebrating another month that brings us closer to our son :). (I am sure we will be taking those quick weekend getaways in a few years.) After the beautiful tour, delicious wine tasting, and relaxing time sitting outside listening to live music, we ended up at the smallest town I have ever been to in my life. Luckenbach, TX had a population of 3 in 2006. So yes, the town was tiny.

We bought our little boy a camouflage t-shirt with the name of the tiny town on it.

Happy seven months waiting!!!

Six Months

Months on the waitlist:

 

Current average wait time:

19

On our six month waiting anniversary we rearranged furniture. Since we will be on the list for a little while longer (after crunching some numbers, we are estimating 2-3 more years); we decided to wait in comfort. We went out and bought ourselves the most comfortable couch in all of the five furniture stores we visited. Is it pretty? Nope. However, it is perfect for cuddling while watching TV :). When we purchased the sofa last month, we were trying to figure out a good delivery date. Since both of us work during the week, we requested a Saturday.

Furniture store salesperson: "How does Saturday February the 11th sound?" 

(Rob and I immediately stared into space with confusion)

Rob: "Why does it feel like we have something going on?"

Salesperson: "Well, the next possible date..."

I interrupt: "It is our anniversary!"

Rob: "That is right!"

We are both laughing at this point because we really, truly thought we had a major event to attend. The salesperson laughs and tells us she always forgets her WEDDING anniversary as well. Embarrassing!! Do we tell her we are actually celebrating every month on our agency's list? No. This will open the door to questions about the why and the how and the when. Not to add the fact that she will probably think we are silly. Therefore, we just looked at each other and smiled. Rob immediately hugged and kissed me. I am guessing to make up for the forgotten "wedding" anniversary :).

Happy six months waiting!!!

The Meaning Of A Dream

I had an extremely vivid dream last night. My phone rang and it was our caseworker calling with our referral. I remember feeling unbelievably excited. I remember crying and nervously trying to call Rob to let him know. We met up at the house (which was not our current home) and we waited for our phone to ring to hear all of the details about our son. The phone rang and right when she was going to tell us his age or anything about him, my alarm went off :(. I told Rob as soon as I woke up and guess what? He had a vivid dream about him as well. His dream was much nicer than mine though...he saw him! He said we were in a strange house (again) and I was holding him while sitting on our couch. Then I got up and handed our baby to him so he can feed him. He said he was beautiful. Perfect round face with curls to die for. So jealous that he actually had a dream of holding him! 

Earlier this week my sister called me and told me that as soon as she woke up, something or someone told her to start praying for her nephew’s birth mom. She said she prayed for a long time and had never felt that feeling before. 

I wonder what this all means. Maybe God has picked the birth mother of our child. Maybe he has been conceived. Maybe it is just coincidence but I love it. I love that we dreamt of our little boy on the same night and I love that my sister spent some serious time praying for his birth mom.

Five Months

Months on the waitlist:

Current average wait time:

18

This last month was a quick yet slow month, if that makes any sense. Quick because we were constantly on the go. Nonstop cleaning and changing sheets because we had family from out of town stay with us every weekend :). If we didn’t have company, we were the ones out of town. Busy, busy, busy. Although Christmas is truly my favorite holiday, I could not have missed our son more than anything in the world this season. We prayed and talked about his birth family more than usual this last month. While eating our Christmas feast, we prayed that they were not feeling hungry, while laughing with our family, we prayed for their happiness, and while going to bed in our warm beds at night, we prayed for their safety. We wonder what they are doing every day. Only God knows our son’s story. He also knows when our time will come to meet our baby boy and we are eager to witness His perfect timing.

On our five-month waiting anniversary, we cleaned. I know, I know, I just mentioned how most the month was spent cleaning, but I have been feeling under the weather for a week now and have not done much around the house. I promise it feels like my head will explode if I cough one. more. time!

Happy five months waiting!!!

One Year Later...

I cannot believe that a year ago we contacted Gladney and began our adoption journey. I remember the excitement we felt when we told our family we had decided to adopt a baby boy from Ethiopia. Feeling cheerful and full of anticipation that we were going to be parents. Then we began gathering our documents. Sigh. THAT was tough. Stressful because we had no control on the pace in which things were moving (and are moving). Anxiety while waiting for different documents. Grieve due to the slow downs in Ethiopian adoptions. Then relieved and hopeful when we were finally placed on the wait list. That is when the conversations changed from “we need to get that letter notarized…” to “I wonder what his personality will be like…”. Can anyone say emotional roller coaster for 2011?
Realistically, we don't see ourselves receiving a referral in 2012. Which gives us more time to grow closer to God and each other. And really just enjoy the year together as we keep falling more in love with one another.

Happy New Year! I wonder what 2012 has in store for us :).

Baby B's Christmas Presents

Christmas was great! Our son received his first Christmas gifts :). We had already decided on a safari theme for what will be his bedroom. Therefore, he received his first:

Giraffe stuffed animal

Lion socks

Monkey blanket

And we bought him a little present from Mexico 

Wooden elephant pencil holder

Thank you Jesus for blessing us with great family and friends.